After a short shuttle ride (or maybe a long one?) we ended up at some other Cerberus base. Oh I remember that shuttle ride now; Miranda was asking me questions and after every one Jacob would be like “Satisfied?????” with that many question marks and everything. Then Miranda would ask me more questions and I’d be like uuuugh shut up, don’t we have Space Highway Bingo around here anywhere that we could play instead? Look, I saw a quasar, I’m marking that spot.
At the base they tell me the Illusive Man wants to talk to me, but first I need to check that my clothes are right and I need to poke around at things and generally not do what they told me to. Finally I head towards the room they pointed me towards but, hey! this room is empt-whoa what the, okay it’s like a holodeck. Little warning next time?
So Illusive Man.
This guy seems annoying. I mostly tune him out and stare at his floor where the stars were doing some weird reflect-y thing that did not look right. Uh huh…Freedom’s Progress sure. Uh huh, yeah, no you’re a douche, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
Finally he stops talking and I leave, back upstairs to harass Miranda and Jacob. Hey Miranda, guess who’s got the questions NOW, beeyotch. It’s ME. I have them. She answers most of them and then I say that she obviously doesn’t feel like talking, even though she really did seem to feel like talking.
I go bother Jacob instead and he brought out the most neutral of feelings in me. He asks if I trust him. I dunno. I shrug. He asks me something else. I shrug again. OKAY I’M BORED LET’S GO SHOOT THINGS INSTEAD. I head for the door and we take another damn shuttle I guess to Freedom’s Progress.
There, I’m supposed to figure out why a bunch of human colonists have been going missing. The place is completely empty except for a bunch of minerals I can take and some robots that are attacking me. And what! Quarians? TALI?! TALI! IT’S ME SHEPARD! LOOK! LOOK! IT’S ME!
She is not nearly as excited as I want her to be.
The Quarians explain that they are to find a colleague of theirs named Veetor who was at the colony on pilgrimage. So we split up and start looking for him and things go to shit (big surprise) and Jacob, Miranda, and I end up finding Veetor first. And he is having a goddamn FIT. He shows us some footage of some oh gah-ross are those bugs? Yuck. And what are those things? Collectors? Those are maybe even grosser looking than the bugs.
Tali insists on taking Veetor with her and giving us his omni-tool data, and Miranda insists we take Veetor with us. I don’t really get why Miranda thinks we need to bring him along so I leave him with Tali and take the data. We head back to their stupid base thing and The Illusive Man explains to me that he has a surpriiiiiiissseee for me!
JOKER!
A SPACESHIP!
IT’S THE NORMANDY!
I STILL HATE YOU BUT I LOVE THIS STUFF!