I follow Dr. Kenson into this building where I look at stuff and poke through boxes for minerals while she blathers on about who even knows what. I wish I could find something to drink around here. I wish I had gotten drunk in Kasumi’s room before coming on this mission. Goddammit, why didn’t I do that? I feel like I’m slipping. Well, I know what the first thing I’m gonna do when I get back to the ship is already. Maybe I could convince Garrus to just swing down there and bring some of that booze up to my cabin for me. I mean he already brought me booze once, he’s coming up from that floor anyways, this is a great idea!
Finally Kenson leads me to a room, saying Object Rho is in inside. She opens the door and sure enough, there is this massive reaper artifact just sitting in the middle of the room like it ain’t no fuckin’ thing. Let’s all touch it and rub it and lick it and what not. I ask her if she’s maybe crazy just leaving something dangerous like this all out in the open and stuff and she says no, they really love it right there, it really pulls the room together.
For some reason I decide to get really close to it and all lovey dovey with it because I have a great history of touching artifacts and having it go really well. Of course the thing zaps me and I have a weird vision of reapers getting close to this mass relay. When I snap back out of it, Kenson is pointing her gun at me and says she won’t let me destroy the relay and stop the reapers. Then she tells everyone else to get me and runs out of the room all crazy-like, instead of just shooting me when she had like a million chances. The room quickly fills with guys and keeps filling with guys and I have to keep shooting and shooting and shooting them and there seems to be no goddamn end to this shit. Suddenly the reaper artifact zaps me and I collapse in a heap, the last thing I see being Kenson with some crazy eyes staring down at me.
So I would’ve assumed they would just shoot me then, right? But no they take me prisoner, and I wake up a bit later in my civvies (I guess these guys had a cerberus uniform laying around in my size I could wear). I appear to be in a clinic area and when I come to the scientist doctor lady in there with me freaks the shit out and runs from the room. Oh my god, I ain’t fighting her, she’s got all kinds of crazy shit just in her BONES AND STUFF. I punch out two guards but the scientist has put up a force field now. Hmmph.
I look around the room and find a log to listen to. Oh then I find a way to HACK A ROBOT. SWEET DOING IT. AND NOW I HAVE SWEET ROBOT VISION. I shoot a couple of other robots (with my robot) and then shoot the scientist too. Then I find a thing to short the power to that force field so I shoot that and woo, I am free and I think that robot exploded? I don’t remember, I’m FREE!
I quickly find a cabinet with all my weapons and armor in it and I get changed even faster than I did on Kasumi’s mission. I mean split second, magic changing. I check to see if there’s any booze around here anywhere, already knowing that there’s not, and then I sigh and head towards the door.
Time to fuck up this mass relay.