As long as I’m doing stuff for the Cerberus fucks I told to fuck off, I figure I might as well go check out this Overlord bullshit. We land on the planet in the Hammerhead which is very encouraging for things to come. Well for me. Not for my squadmates. Hahaha. AAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
After landing we enter a building that is already so full of dead bodies. So…things are going well here. A guy named Archer tells me I need to stop some rogue VI from uploading itself via the giant dish outside. I pay very little attention to him and just open any door I can, and shoot anything that is available. I care little for what this guy is telling me.
There’s a bunch of Geth and Garrus is just destroying them with his overload. I am honestly a little scared when it takes it out like 3 geth at once. Holy shit dude, what points did I give you anyways?
We make it to a room and try to lower a satellite dish, because we are NOT paying for Sunday Ticket during this lockout. Oh I mean because the VI is going to upload itself with it. I try to use the computer but SURPRISE the VI has overridden it! Who saw that coming? NO ONE. NO ONE AT ALL.
We take the tram to the satellite itself, because now we’re just gonna destroy it. Dizzy Shepard gets drunk and crushes her problems beneath her mighty omni-fist! Team Sexy Sniper! Go!
The tram ride itself was mostly noisy, but didn’t go as horribly wrong as I thought it might. Which is to say we made it to the other end without incident. I thought for sure it would seize up in the middle and we would have to climb out and walk carefully along the rail while Geth shot at us to get to the other side. I mean I am honestly surprised that didn’t happen.
At the dish, this Archer guy instructs us to blow up some support struts so we do that while geth come at us from who knows where. I don’t even think about any more, I just shoot and reave, shoot and hack, and when they’re all gone I shake my head in disgust.
Finally I blow up the third thing I was supposed to blow up, and oh for fucks’ sake. The whole thing is gonna come down on us and guess what, we need to run away really fast. I’m upset at this, but Garrus and Thane are like “YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME SHEPARD. It’s always with the fast escapes and sprints away from death, it’s getting goddamn exhausting.”
Oh Garrus, don’t act like you don’t love it.
I mean sure, Thane might not. But you do. And he has to come along because we need a third for Team Sexy Sniper and Legion is a robot so he can’t be sexy even if he does wear my old armor which is inherently kind of sexy.
DON’T QUESTION MY LOGIC JUST RUN THE FUCK OFF THIS SATELLITE DISH
After narrowly escaping with our lives, we return to that weird scientist guy to find out what exactly is going on.
He tells me about their project to merge a human and a geth, his brother being a volunteer for it. Project Overlord, they called it. Oh and you didn’t expect that to go horribly wrong? Project Overlord? Why don’t you just call it Project Shitstorm, you little asshole. Oh no, Project Shitstorm has gone horrible wrong. WHO IS SHOCKED? WHO? IT IS NO ONE WHO IS SHOCKED THAT IS WHO.
I decide right then to call this Project Shitstorm the rest of the time I am here.
While I ask him questions I already can tell the answer to, Garrus and Thane are apparently hauling around and casketing up these corpses. Jesus guys, can’t we get a team in here to do this? You gotta do it? It seems a little weird, ya know? Team Sexy Sniper shouldn’t be hauling dead bodies around.
Get Jacob down here; make him do that.
Then we will “forget” him when we leave!