I decide that instead of just schlupping around my ship, like I’ve been doing for the past …forever, I should go finish up all this mission-y, helping people, stopping collectors business. Looking down my to-do list, I decide to head to the flotilla and help Tali.
I grab Garrus, as usual, and the three of us board a ship with Tali. There we talk to a few other people and find that they’ve started referring to Tali as being from the Normandy instead of as being from her flotilla ship. Tali seems upset by this but I think Normandy might be a cool last name and consider having mine changed as well.
COMMANDER NORMANDY OF THE NORMANDY
wait wait
I’ll change the ship to Shepard.
No no, nevermind. Let’s just get this treason trial underway.
The admiralty board tells Tali that she’s charged with sending active Geth back to the flotilla. And that they have taken over her father’s ship. And oh, by the way, he might be dead. Did we forget to mention that? Did we just totally glaze over that? God we’re sorry. I say Tali and I will go to this supposedly overrun by Geth ship and take that fucker back. And maybe find some evidence too but mostly I’m excited for the shooting that will happen.
The admirals agree to this and dismiss us. But before leave! I gotta make the rounds and talk to all these people whose names I never remember. Just the Qwib Qwib guy and the bitch. Oh and the two that were in missions earlier, but they’re not admirals.
Tali tells me not ask about the Qwib Qwib guy about his name. So that’s the first thing I ask about even though I don’t really pay attention to his answer. It’s just some odd compulsion to immediately do something I am told to not do and not consider what happens afterwards at all. Hell if someone had told me that whatever I do, DO NOT fight the collectors? I would be on their porch right now.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK bitches! Someone said this was a bad idea and I, oh fuck, I have no one to help me.
Anyway, one of the other admirals was a total pain in the ass and was being super annoying. I hope I get to punch her someday…
Finally we leave and head towards the infiltrated ship. Every quarian team that went before us apparently died in the first five minutes, so when we board, I am immediately ready for a fight but there’s not Geth waiting right there for me. Oh well. We work our way through the place killing Geth and looking for clues when we come across Tali’s father.
And he’s totally dead.
This is awkward. She starts crying, and I give her a hug and then wonder if like…like if you cry when you have glasses on it makes your glasses so filthy somehow even if you’re not crying INTO the glasses, your tears just make everything around them dirty and disgusting and is it doing something like that inside of her mask or is it fogging up or…how do you clean in there anyways and I’ve been thinking about this so long but still hugging that I think Tali is ready to stop.
We continue through the ship and run into a huge ass Geth Prime.
AND
A MODEL SHIP! Is uh…is this anyone’s? Going once? TAKING IT.
We find information that Tali’s father was doing stuff he shouldn’t have been and the info will clear Tali’s name but she’s major weepy over her dad and doesn’t want other people finding out about this. I sigh, and we go back to the other ship were Lawyer Shepard is gonna throw down.
As we run in, Garrus takes a seat in the back and as I give a rousing speech to clear Tali’s name, i can’t help but glance back at him every few minutes and wander what the hell he’s doing. Do have video games in a HUD in your helmet? What are you…watch my speech! Look how amazing I’m being!
The speech totally works and as we leave, I flip off the admirals and spit on the floor.
FUCK Y’ALL.