Back on the ship, I decide to go see if Garrus is up for our romp yet. I walk into his little room and ask if he has a minute to, ya know…just talk.
He shuts the door behind me.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I am halfway to naked when Garrus says, “I’ve been thinking…”
You’ve been what? No. Nooo, no. No thinking, no. Suddenly you have time to think? Go back to calibrating and no thinking and when I come down here for sexy times you just do it.
Oh…you…you’re wondering if I’m sure about this. Well yes, of course, look at me. I’m awkwardly putting my boots back on, having thrown them off in a haste a few minutes ago. Are uh…are you sure?
Okay then, let’s do this. I start taking my boots back off. Are there like latches on your armor or…
You think we should wait?
As long as possible?
Not disturb the crew?
HEAT SINKS?
Maaaaaaaaaaaan. I begrudgingly agree and tell him that I’ll be back later.
I go up to the labs and talk with Mordin instead. He’s got a dire warning for me!
Shepard! Be careful…
Be careful having sex with Garrus! Don’t ingest! Chafing! Shock! Pokey parts!
Wh..buh…how did you? I just came from his room, how is this all over the ship already?
I have my suspicions.
I head to CIC Deck and walk over to Kelly. Hello Kelly. Is there anything I should know? Is there anything you perhaps decided that other people needed to know and so you told them all about it? DO I HAVE ANY UNREAD MESSAGES AT MY PRIVATE TERMINAL?
Oh I do? Well. I give her one last glare and keep on with my rounds.
Jacob? Bro hugs? No, not yet? Okay I’ll be back for those though!
Man, I need to relax. I head to Kasumi’s room where there is, ya know, booze.
I ask Kasumi what’s up, just hoping to make some small talk when she says she hears that Garrus has got it bad for me.
goddammit can’t a woman keep a goddamn secret.
I down a shot quickly and march towards Garrus’s room.
GARRUS THE CREW IS ALREADY DISTURBED.
RELATIONS.
NOW.