Back on the ship, I decide to go see how Garrus is doing. Hopefully he’s not dealing with what happened by burying his head in a bunch of calibrations again. I’m pleased to find that he does want to talk! He thanks me for the help and I thank him for being on my ship. I ask him some other questions and then he…
then he tells me a dirty story! A dirty story!
SHEPARD THIS IS YOUR IN! MAKE YOUR MOVE!
I sexily lean on his console, messing up several settings and tell Garrus with a wink that maybe we could make some dirty stories together sometime eh? Maybe he could show me how he gets that armor on and off eh?
Eh Garrus?
He seems a little startled at my proposition because we can’t even share the same drinks, but agrees anyways. I’m totally ready to do this, right here right now, but…I guess I’m leaving instead.
Keep that on your brain, Garrus. I’m gonna go use my sexy skills on Samara’s daughter.
Yes you’re coming along.
We head to Omega and look around for Samara’s daughter, Morinth. We decide to go ask Aria if she knows anything since she is Omega and we’re like…inside her now, or something. She points us towards a recent murder and says she doesn’t care if some Ardat Yahtzee or whatever is running around killing people. Bitch, is there anything you DO care about? Do your people just bring you info all day and you tell them you don’t care and manage to rule through complete apathy? Whatever, we’re going.
We head to this apartment and find a distraught mother desperate for someone to find out who murdered her daughter Nef. I think about smirking at that, but then remember that my name is Dizzy. I ask if we can check around her room for clues and the mother agrees. We find Nef was indeed hanging with Morinth in the VIP area of Afterlife. We find the password to the club and head that way, hoping to find Morinth inside.
Before heading in, Samara reviews with me some of Morinth’s interests and things I should talk to her about. Hey Samara! I have an idea, we should have Miranda do this because she already dressed for the occasion. No? Fine. Let’s go over this stuff, she likes music, likes art, likes killing things. Got it.
I drop the password to the bouncer and head inside. I kinda wanted to tell him that the NEW password is “SHEPARD WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU” but some of these people are too stupid to be appropriately nervous around me anyways.
Inside I start trying to attract Morinth’s attention. I will talk to this guy quietly in the corner. I will do a bit of subdued dancing. Nothing too outrageous. I will tell this bartender to give everyone a round on the house! I will let him announce it though. Please, no showboating for me.
Suddenly an asari in an outfit I would call “distressing” approaches me. Oh, you’ve been watching me, huh? Is it because I am the only person in here in cargo shorts? You like pockets baby? Because I got a lot of pockets. Aw yeah, you can put a credit chit in those, know what I’m sayin?
Morinth and I grab a large, family sized booth and sit far away from each other. This is getting intense. I really wish I could rub my forehead with the back of my hand right now…
Morinth asks me something and for far too long, I think about telling her that I am really into justicars. I am like a justicar aficionado. I subscribe to Justicar Monthly and go to Justicar Conventions. I collect justicar trading cards. We call them justicards. Hold on, I have my album with my collection with me! You’re gonna love this!
Instead I tell her that I…like…uh, art? It’s so…meaningful and expressive? Sure. Oh god I think she’s buying it.
Next I tell her that I like um music? drugs? shooting things? Are we done here yet?
She wants to go to her apartment. I agree, even though I really want to just kill her already.
In her apartment, I run around looking at all her stuff. Oooooh, you mind if I scan these? I could use this. She’s got a chess board and some swords and other crap. Finally I go sit next to her on the couch. This is so awkward. Please don’t touch my leg. No oh god no, don’t sit on my lap. Bad touch, bad touch. I am acting the fuck out of this because my insides are trying to set themselves on fire. This bitch be creepy.
FINALLY Samara bursts into the room and starts with the Morinth murdering.
ABOUT GODDAMN TIME WOMAN! JESUS CHRIST, WHERE WERE YOU!
Did you get distracted by poison you can drink at the bars around here?
Fuck.
You know your daughter is pretty horrible!
She kills Morinth, and we head back to the ship, where I run directly to my cabin for the longest, looooongest shower ever.