After that thorough decontamination, I decide I am clean enough to put on this fancy dress Kasumi got me and go do her mission. Let me just grab Garru-
What do you mean…“no?”
But, but, but
I bring Garrus everywhere.
I pout super hard but Kasumi still insists that it be just the two of us for this mission. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
We need to get Kasumi’s former partner’s graybox back from this asshole Donovan Hock. I’m getting into this party he’s throwing under the fake name Allison Gunn, and smuggling my armor and guns in with a “gift” for Hock of a solid gold statue of Saren.
God, how much scanning did I do for that…
Security gives us some guff and Hock tells them to let me in, but not Kasumi. After Hock leaves, I ask Kasumi why he didn’t let her in. Is it because I am wearing a pretty dress and you are still in your little hooded thief outfit? Is that it? Oh, you don’t know why? You don’t think it’s the dress code thing…
Inside the party, I sneak down to the vault, which is remarkably accessible. I was expecting several tunnels or something, but I just went down a flight of stairs and there it was. Kasumi, having snuck into the party and cloaking her way around, comes downstairs and looks at the system. She figures we need a voice print, the password, and some DNA. All right then.
I decide to get the voice print first so I can hopefully never talk to this Hock asshole again. I say something to him that fires him up and he decides it’s time for a fucking speech. Afterwards he looks at me.
I should go.
I next look for some DNA. A guard in front of Hock’s room tells me the door is locked and I can’t go in there. Man.
You guys should put a guy near the vault.
Kasumi and I sneak into Hock’s room another way and she tells me to start looking around for DNA. I find a credit chit in the couch, check his pillows, check some stuff on the walls, check an ashtray. I check a plant and Kasumi berates me for it. Well I don’t see you checking anything! If you know so much about finding DNA samples, why don’t you do it? Who found the money in the couch huh? That was me. I find things. Don’t tell me how to fucking do it. There might’ve been money on that plant too. God I’m so angry now, where’s that fucking DNA.
I finally find some, and we casually stroll through the party, until we find a room with guards that we just walk in and kill. We find the password on a datapad.
“Peruggia.”
Uuuh. I found it Kasumi, it’s uhh…pu…rug..uuuh..Oh you said it. Oh thank god. I’m betting that vault doesn’t let you in if you pronounce the password wrong.
Lastly we cut power to the vault. I change into my armor and grab all my favorite guns and we head inside.
MOTHERFUCKING HOCK HAS A LOT OF SHIT.
Kasumi tells me to find the graybox but I am far too distracted. Why don’t you find it? Last I checked you LOOOOOVE FINDING THINGS. I need to look at every single thing in here first.
Ooooh my god! This Krogan statue is awesome, we need to take it back to the ship. And this statue, and the turian one, and this rachni queen! I’m calling Joker!
Unfortunately I can’t take the statues with me. I can’t even scan them to figure out how to make my own statues. Dang it. I grab the graybox and me and Kasumi get ready to book it out of there, when goddddaaammmmn it a bunch of Hock’s mercs start attacking.
We quickly rid ourselves of them and continue outside where Hock is going to shoot at us with a damn gunship. After a scuffle with him, the shuttle lands and we had back to the Normandy.
Where I am now wandering the ship in this dress.
TONIGHT EVERYONE. THE CIC DECK IS BLACK TIE.