Back on the ship, I check my journal to figure out what I should do next. Man, everyone wants me to do something for them. I look at Jacob’s mission.
Jacob was the first person to ask me for help. Would it be mean, I wonder, to wait to do his mission until the very very very end? I decide that it would be mean. Then I take a moment to decide if…if maybe I want to be mean. However I remember that I need to get this dude friend-zoned and to get past our conversation of “when you gonna help me, Shep?” I would need to actually go help him.
Fine, Jacob, your mission it is.
Jacob is interested in finding his father, whose ship went missing ten years ago, and now suddenly is sending out a distress beacon. We land on the planet and see the remains of the ship buried in the side of it. A little AI dude is stuttering his way through warnings and stuff and we take a moment to talk to him.
Hey little dude, what’s up?
He informs us that the local plant life is toxic and eating it will make us crazy. Well. That’s good to know. I didn’t plan on having lunch here, but I will keep that in mind when crazy people start attacking me. I am sure this is what will happen now.
Inside the ship we check for more clues. A log says that Jacob’s father is acting captain and Jacob says that’s not right, his father was first officer. I stare at Jacob.
Do you think, maybe, Jacob, that something might have happened to the captain that would result in your father being acting captain? Like maybe when the ship crashed into a planet? Does that seem in the realm of possibility to you, Jacob? I swear to god, if you say anything else so stupid while we are here, we will go back to the ship and your dad can just stay missing.
Also on the ship is a bunch of straw, like they were hauling livestock or something but I don’t see any farm animals around, much to my chagrin.
We continue outside the ship when we see a lady stammering on about crazy shit near a bunch of boxes that look good for hiding behind. She tells me about hunters or some such stuff when I see some dudes creeping up ready to shoot her. I shove her out of the way, while we dispose of them. I try to ask her more questions, but I guess she’s just peed herself and is too distraught to talk.
We walk some more and find what looks like a settlement full of women. Hello ladies. Perhaps you can help us ou-or you can freak out at Jacob, that works too. DAMMIT JACOB! I sigh and we keep walking when a bunch of mechs pop out to attack us. We quickly dispose of them and one lady who I guess hasn’t gone completely bonkers yet, tells us what’s going on a bit more in words that are hard to make sense of. Whatever.
I’m gonna blow this robot up to get past these boxes.
I rig the robot to explode in 3 seconds.
Wait, I what?
Shit, what the fuck, run away.
Why the fuck did I…
Sorry. Sorry guys. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
We walk some more fighting our way past robots and crazy dudes, discovering that the officers of the ship had taken the good food for themselves and made the crew eat the toxic food. And…also divvied up the ladies for their lady-needs. What the…that’s messed up. The rest of the officers are also now dead.
Finally we find Jacob’s father, all like “hurray someone came for me! I’m so happy to be saved!”
Well, I am not happy.
He asks who I am. What the fuck? What do you mean who am I?
Oh, yeah you’ve been missing for 10 years. Wow, you have a lot to catch up on. Have you heard this shit about the new advancements in thermal clips for exam- wait you have. *sigh* Okay well, this is your son, he’s pissed at you.
They argue for a bit, I tell Jacob we’ll just let the Alliance come pick up his sleazy dad and we book it the fuck outta there.
On the ship, we’re asking the Illusive Man how Jacob even GOT the stuff about his dad in the first place! Turns out it was Miranda. I don’t know why I care. I’m leaving guys, I’m gonna go look at my model ships. Let me know when you need something important.